A friend of mine sent me this podcast episode about building adult friendships. And something that stuck out to me was when one of the women said, “Christians still have fun.”
She was referring to some of the expectations that her friends may place on her and how they tend to act surprised when she plays a particular type of music.
This portion of the discussion stuck out to me because I have noticed that I place expectations on myself about what a Christian looks like.
Amid this, I have let go of certain parts of myself— good parts of myself, such as aspects of my personality— which I swap out for rigidity and being overly serious.
I didn’t notice that I was becoming exactly like the “overly serious, super Christian church-going” people I was trying not to become.
I’ve been believing that I need to change or act a certain way when all God has ever cared about is the condition of my heart and my willingness to change what didn’t look like Him. (1 Samuel 16:7)
He never asked me to compromise on parts of myself that are integral to whom He created me to be.
Looking back, I think this belief made being in a relationship with God dreadful and frustrating because I was trying to alter what He had placed within me to share with the world.
One example is me giving up R&B music — which I love to listen to but stopped listening to out of fear of God not approving of those songs — although at this point, I understand what I should and shouldn’t be listening to.
And as I write this, I think I understand why some Christians look down on young Christians and Christians who don’t follow a specific set of rules; Fear.
There it is. I think their behavior is often rooted in fear; Fear of not measuring up, fear of being rejected, fear of being seen, fear of having fun and allowing themselves to be fully loved by God and others.
I think they tend to choose rigidity because, as humans, we fear what we don’t understand. And I think they may fail to understand who God truly is.
Fear keeps us in a box.
Fear places limitations on our relationship with God, which prevents us from experiencing the freedom and joy of being in a relationship with Him.
Fear keeps us performing for Him. Meanwhile, our hearts haven’t changed.
Fear limits His power in our lives. Fear drives out hope and belief. Fear makes us look at God through the eyes of who He isn’t.
Fear keeps us from building an authentic relationship with Him.
Fear prevents God from revealing who He is to us.
Fear keeps us from relating to God in a way that satisfies our hearts and establishes intimacy with Him.
I am currently struggling with this. I mean, this is years of undoing in the making. But then and again, all I’ve got to do is pray about it. How awesome is that?
And I’m praying that God will help me to see Him through the lens of love and to help me see Him in new and fresh ways.
Ways that are freeing and unconstrained. Ways that are personal to me. Ways that open me up to see that He is not this angry, wrathful God that I have come to know Him as.
I want to see God as funny, beautiful, lighthearted, romantic, caring and loving.
And slowly but surely, I’m getting there. I’d say it’s all a part of the journey, and I think it’s beautiful; getting to know who God is and, this time, for myself.
My prayer for you:
Father, right now, I lift up whoever is reading this. Lord, I pray that You would undo all of the years that they have come to know You as who You are not. I pray that you would reveal Yourself to this person in a new and fresh way that is personal to them.
Lord, I pray that this person would begin to build an authentic relationship with You that is rooted in love, trust, honesty and friendship. I pray that You would help this person no longer approach You in fear but in excitement.
I pray that You will help them discover enjoyable ways to spend time with You. And I pray Lord, that building a relationship with You would become the most freeing and exciting adventure that they would ever experience.
May they find all they need in You, Lord.
Thank You, Lord, that because You created each of us differently, our relationships with You are unique. How beautiful it is that we can experience life with You because of what Jesus did for us.
I thank You, Lord, for being who You are and for revealing this truth to me that I may share it with Your people.
We love you, Father. It’s in Jesus’ beautiful name that we pray, Amen.
Chronicles of a Believer 
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