Chronicles of a Believer

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Dear Jesus,

It feels uncomfortable to not settle.

It feels uncomfortable to wait. It feels uncomfortable to be loved by You. It feels uncomfortable to uphold standards in friendships and relationships. It feels uncomfortable to not be desperate and chase after men. It feels uncomfortable to be alone.

To just be with You. To not keep myself distracted with men who mean me no good and just want to use my body or men who do mean me good but who I have no desire to take seriously.

It feels uncomfortable to not look for love outside of You and rest in Your love only. It feels uncomfortable to take my time with You and get to know You.

It feels uncomfortable to stand my ground and only accept God’s best. It feels uncomfortable to not compromise on what I desire in order to get what I want faster, even if it’s not the real thing and it’s “it’ll do.”

It all feels uncomfortable.

And yet, I see how much growth will take place. I’m willing to sit through the discomfort if it means going deeper with You.

If it means leaving behind what I’ve found familiarity in, if it means coming to understand my worth as You see me, if it means knowing what it means to be fully and completely loved by You,

then I’ll sit through it.

I’ll sit through it because I’m sitting through it it with You, and I wouldn’t want to sit through it with anyone else.

You told me You aren’t going anywhere which means we can take this thing slow. I can get to know You, and You, me. And we can go deep together and You can become my best friend and the love of my life.

So here’s to challenging myself, here’s to growth, here’s to getting to know one another and here’s to a lifetime together, literally.

Love,

Daija

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