I’m no stranger to the pain of heartbreak, but experiencing this sort of pain as a Christian is somewhat tricky.
Why?
Because in the midst of being hurt, we have to eventually forgive the wrongdoer.
You see, non-Christians are not obligated to forgive and can hold on to anger and bitterness as long as they want to. But as Christians, we are called to forgive so our Father in Heaven will forgive us.
We often hear people say, “Just surrender those emotions to God,” but what does surrender look like when you have to forgive someone who hurt you but has failed to acknowledge how they have affected you?
I am currently healing from an unsuccessful relationship. Although I was not seriously invested, I was angry but in denial. Instead of acknowledging the hurt and sadness, I stuffed my emotions down.
Since being on the Daniel Fast (I am on day 20), God has exposed what I did not to want acknowledge and was also unaware of.
I had put up this protective shield to let my offender know, “Hey, you hurt me, and I have this shield up to keep you out and to show you that you hurt me.” This shield manifested as bitterness to the point where the mere mention of their name triggered me.
God began to reveal to me that while it was okay to be sad and hurt, it could not linger; the hurt was not allowed to find a home in my heart.
He reminded me to love my offender, which looks like wishing them well and blessing them.
However, I was under the notion that if I acted as if I was not hurt by them, then I was letting them off the hook. Much of my self-protection was rooted in fear, fear of being taken advantage of and fear of being stung again.
Ultimately, I put my guard up as a way to have my own back because if I do not remember how I was hurt, who will? If I do not stick up for myself, who will?
God will.
One definition of forgiveness is to cancel a debt, which is essentially what God did through Jesus and still does for us every day.
This is not to say that we forget how we were affected; rather, we love our offenders anyway. We remove the protective shield and place our full trust in the One who does see, who does know and who does understand.
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Romans 12:19 NIV
Anytime we see God speak the words “I will” in scripture, He is making a promise, and we can trust that He will keep His promise.
As imperfect humans, we do not know the entirety of a situation like God does; God knows everyone’s motives and hearts.
God is perfectly perfect, without flaw. He is a just God, meaning that He is 100% just in the way He handles a wrong. If He were even 99% just, He would not be God. The missing 1% would mean He has evil in Him and is blemished.
Additionally, God can handle any wrong far better than we ever could; please do not underestimate the God of the universe.
The more I reflected on this truth, the more I understood that surrendering heartache to God all comes down to one thing: Trust.
Trusting that God is moving on my behalf, that He saw what happened, and that my feelings are important to Him.
This is not to say that it is wrong to be angry and hurt for a period of time because these emotions are a part of grieving. However, when these emotions begin to affect our livelihood, it is time to begin the process of letting go.
When we trust despite feeling out of control, we are demonstrating where our faith lies. And when we love despite being hurt, we are demonstrating who we belong to.
My prayer for you, dear friend, is that this message was revelatory to you. I love you; be blessed.
Chronicles of a Believer 
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