God is there—He always has been and always will be. But during difficult times, it does not seem like it. It feels as though God is far, far away—farther than we’d like—sitting back, watching us hurt, suffer and struggle.
But we’d do well to believe God when He says He’ll never leave or forsake us and that we cannot turn anywhere or go anywhere that is out of His sight.
Well, this is the truth I need to hear right now, in this exact moment, as I face yet another difficult season.
Lack of financial stability, going through a breakup, finishing school soon but having no idea what I want to do for my career, family issues and the like.
I’ve felt alone, afraid, discouraged, hurt, disappointed, abandoned, sad, furious, hopeless, and depressed, but I’ve also felt joy, peace, and freedom, which far outweigh the heavy emotions I’ve been feeling.
How? But God, as the church folk say. And with that being said, here are some truths that God, who calls us friends, has shared with me.
I’m teaching you how to let go of your life
In Matthew 10:39, Jesus says that whoever saves his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
I never really understood what that meant until now, and that is that everything that I’ve attempted to build here, the earthly life that I desire to fill with idols of comfort, enough money to buy what I want, a happy and healthy marriage, a brand new car, a house, and many other blessings are things that I’ve defined myself with. I’ve built my life based on the world’s definition of success: if I’m content, I’m being lazy. I should always want more, be doing more, and strive for more. More, more, more.
But Jesus says, follow me. If I am to learn from Jesus, I must release my attachment to things that keep me in bondage, such as being bound by having the ideal career or being in a relationship, just to be validated by people around me. When I follow Jesus, I feel free. I’m no longer attached, no longer bound, and free to be me, knowing that Jesus doesn’t define me or my success by what I have or can offer but instead by how well I’ve loved.
I’m showing you what it means to be a Christian
For a long time, up until about a week and a half ago, I had a me-centered attitude when it came to God. And I remember God shifting my perspective to see that my faith has never been about me. And instead of asking, “God, what can I get from You?, asking, “God, what can I do for You?”
I’m healing your soul
I’ve always looked to anything but God to fulfill where I believed God wasn’t enough. I’ve had some emotional pain that I’ve tried to deal with on my own. I have some voids I’ve tried to fill with what is insatiable. And so God asked me, “Where am I not enough?” It was a tricky question, but I had to really go within to figure out where God was not enough, why I did not believe He was enough, and what I was using as a vice.
In John 6:35, Jesus says, “I am the bread of life.” As I meditated on this verse, I concluded that if Jesus says such a thing, then He must be enough. If He is bread, then I shall be full. And if He is life, then He and only He is the source that will satisfy all that I lack.
Even so, God is showing me that He is all I’ve been searching for, and I can delight in Him to no end.
I’m renewing your vision
Perspective. It’s all about how we see, and difficult times reveal just how and what we see. God says, “Trials are what I use to purify. Doubts are invitations to know Me deeper. Emotions are calls to action.” But it all has to point back to God.
In the Bible, God shows us real people who faced real struggles and had real responses. I love the Psalms because David held nothing back from God. He was completely vulnerable with God in all of his circumstances and humanness. Yet, what I’ve come to see about the Psalms is that after David expressed himself, he reminded his heart of who God is.
And that’s what I’m learning to do. That although this season hurts, and everything in me is telling me to turn away, to go back, yet will I trust God.
I’m teaching you how to surrender
I’ve been wrestling with God, attempting to go in a direction He would not have me go in, which proved frustrating.
I’m actually chuckling as I type this because that is the type of God we are in relationship with. One that will let us wrestle and go another way but will make it difficult to the point where you have no choice but to do things His way. And I think it makes me laugh because I’ve come to know so much of His character that I know He does it out of love.
That said, because I have nothing to attach myself to, such as a marriage, a career or comfort, I have nothing to lose when it comes to choosing to follow Jesus. In this moment, He is all that I have. He is literally where I find peace, joy, stability, guidance, identity, and everything else.
He has removed any and everything that I tried to find, what only I can find in Him. LOL. I’m sorry, but it’s so funny to me because He loves us that much. That. Much. He will remove any and everything we could only be temporarily satisfied with so that we can find it permanently in Him. I mean, that’s love!!!! Wow. How much He longs to satisfy our hearts and will pursue us to no end to do just that.
And I don’t mean with that car or that home or that man or woman you’ve had your eye on; no with Himself.
We tend not to see it, believing that our vices are enough to satiate us. But I guarantee that if you give God a chance, He will show you why He calls Himself the bread of life and the well that never runs dry.
Anywho, there’s a lot I’m still learning, and although I don’t understand everything, God has told me enough to allow me to relax, let go, and rest. And so that’s what I’m going to do. Will you join me?
Chronicles of a Believer 
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